New Locale

Hi All,

Well I made the jump to Wordpress and a new blog that I'm hoping I won't be freaking out about if friends and family stumble upon it! So far there are only two posts up but I will be aiming to keep it updated more regularly than this one. It also needs a little bit of beautifying etc... but bear with me while I learn the ropes.

Please update your bookmarks and links to: http://icecreamandbuckets.wordpress.com

I feel terrible starting up a third blog but oh well, different chapters and all that jazz, I hope you'll follow me over to the new abode as I've loved having you all read about my goings on here! I'm also hoping this means it will be easier to integrate with my iPad which means more responding to comments etc... For the time being I'll be leaving this blog up after all, it is a nice source of memories.

 

Comments

The one in which I complain about first world problems!

Damn this stupid iPad it's not letting me respond to comments on my own blog. So thank you Lila and Sammie :) apologies if I haven't been applying to comments you leave but I do read them all.

I had a long talk with my mother-in-law yesterday and it turns out Logan's personality = far's personality through and through. So now it's just a waiting game until he turns into the calmest person in the world which explains my Husband, these boys just get it all out when their young!

Parenting

 

I still don't get it, I know no one ever does (truly) but obviously some people have a better handle on it than others. I thought I would fall into that category but instead here I sit scratching my head and throwing a lot of 'woe is me's' out into the world. I want to blame my child for not being an easy baby for crying more than laughing for frowning more than smiling but you can't blame someone for their personality. Then I get scared that subliminally I'm turning him into this unhappy little man because I feel so overwhelmed and that just about makes my head explode.

But still the weeks turn into months and I haven't wound up breaking down or following through on my threat to send him to China. When it's just him and me it is definitely a lot harder and I am looking forward to my Mum coming back on Monday! But I'm proud of myself for managing for a month without her dropping in every day - I've done some grocery shops, gone out to cafes with him and gone on a daily walk (weather permitting) every day.

I will never be one of those 'perfect' bloggers, I never have something set for a certain day and I definitely don't want people thinking that Logan is the easiest baby in the world or that I can handle anything he throws at me. He isn't and I can't! This was just a quick post (seeing as the little monkey has just woken up early) to let mums/moms around the world know that it's ok. You do survive but you also need to bitch and moan about it, don't keep it bottled up and for the love of your sanity don't compare your baby to anyone else's - that has been what destroyed me these last couple of weeks. Logan has been particularly tough and whenever I shared that the other mums just said teething or separation anxiety and yes my son/daughter cried too. I wanted to scream and say you don't understand he has always cried non stop its just really getting to me now. But everyone has their own shit to deal with so keep plodding along and dealing with yours because ultimately these little boys & girls are ours and ours alone and we can only do what we can do.

PS: That wasn't suppose to depress the hell out of you, I'm sure it gets better and I know from looking at my 4 year old nephew it's going to be awesome fun! But for the right now...well he's lucky I can't afford postage (that and he's so dang cute!).

Come on Get Happy!

Currently I feel like an animal in the zoo, see that picture up there? That's the house being built behind us! At present it sucks because all the workmen can see right into our living room and kitchen so we have to close the blinds most days :( but thankfully they're lazy and hardly ever show up! But I've been watching the slow progress and come to the realisation that the builders are the least of our problems, huge windows being put in mean that our new neighbours will have the perfect view into our house and backyard (including the office and nursery). Now we knew they were going to put a two story house up there and plans were looked at before this house was bought (by my parents - not us I would have turned it down if I'd seen this) but now it's actually being built I hate it. I also hate whinging about it because we can't do anything (the previous a*hole owners approved everything) but here I am whinging!

I complained to my Mum who is over the other side of the world at the moment and must have come across as a complete spoilt brat. So I'm attempting to turn my frown upside down, there are definitely things we can do and hopefully their living area is on the bottom floor so that if they are an at home during the day family like us I won't feel so invaded. But trying to change your way of thinking is damn hard!

I feel as though I am always trying to make myself more positive and not a lot really changes. One of the big things I have implemented here in our humble abode is the nightly 3 things that made you happy (sorry if I've mentioned this before!). Hubby and I try and remember to do this nightly and for the most part we are succeeding. Not only does it make you reevaluate a crappy day but its also nice to see what makes it onto Hubby's list versus mine. Sometimes they are quite similar and other times they differ drastically. I highly recommend people do something similar like this but if you're not generally and sunshine, rainbows and unicorns person don't aim too high with how many happy things - of course you don't have to limit yourself to three but if you go to high it might backfire and make you feel crap if you can't come up with that magic number.

So far I'm really happy we've implemented this, along with my much talked about no-tech nights! Having a baby really put a downer on our relationship and even though it might seem like we're putting too many rules onto our relationship it works for us. Before we use to have the tv on and I'd be scouring blogs whilst he'd be playing Diablo. Now we still watch tv but we sit cuddled up on the couch and laugh a lot more - in fact I had one of my crazy fit of hysterics last night which I haven't had in ages and wound up laugh/crying nonstop (all because I wanted candy).

I guess all the good things take a bit of work and that's what makes them worth it in the end right?

 

PS: I didn't know whether or not I should mention this as it seems to be blowing my own horn but I firmly believe in spreading the good and I couldn't think of anyone more deserving than Lila over at Raised by Wolffs. It is an indescribable feeling to be able to give for no reason at all (other than an amazing woman who deserved something special) and I encourage everyone this week to pass on the good - be it in the form of a compliment, a kind gesture to a stranger or something extravagant! It makes everyone feel amazing and isn't that what life is all about!

PPS: I couldn't have done it without the help of Sammie, Emmie and Spark - all incredible women who trusted me not to be a Nigerian Princess ;)

 

10 Months Letter (23.09.12)

Dear Logan,

10 months old and you are knocking over milestones all the time it feels like!

This month you have been walking so confidently around all our furniture and then moved onto scaling the walls as well. Nowhere is safe from you anymore but we still haven't had to babyproof anything. I think this is because you always want to be near me so 9 times out of 10 I can see what you're up to. You can also stand up unassisted but it only happens for a few seconds and generally we have to instigate it.

We believe separation anxiety has kicked in with full-force and you don't really like playing by yourself for longer than 5 minutes before you're in tears. You've been extra clingy with me at the moment as well which makes it doubly hard.

But on a positive note you are sleeping better for the most part you have decided to sleep through the night. You still let out grumbles but usually will resettle yourself. I can't say it's continuous though because more often than not we do have to go in to you but still it's a step in the right direction. I also don't have to feed you at night anymore which is FANTASTIC!

We've got you on somewhat of a schedule according to Save Our Sleep. You still wake up earlier than the recommended 7 (anywhere from 550-630) but it means you get time to see far before he heads off to work. You then have a giant 2 weetbix + fruit breakfast at 7 before boobie at 8 and then we go for a dog walk and then bed (if you can last!) at 930. You've been pretty good with a 1.5 hour morning nap so when you wake at 11ish (never later always earlier) you get boobie again and then lunch at 12. Your next nap is at 130 and if I'm lucky you'll sleep for an hour but this is usually your bad nap. Once you're awake you get boobie and then dinner at 5 before a bath or shower at 6 courtesy of far, bottle at 630ish and then bed anywhere from 640-7pm but never later. You still seem quite grumpy in the afternoons though so I don't think you get enough sleep and sometimes I sneak in an extra nap around 3.

We have also uncovered that if you haven't slept long enough if we get you up for a little bit we can then put you back down to sleep. This isn't always a guarantee and goes against all the books but whatever works right!?

You've also played well with two girls, one your exact same age and the other almost a year older. I've been so happy about this because in general you don't like other babies and would rather just cling on to me the whole time.

You don't say much at the moment and will either be a little babbler or nothing will come out. It's still only mama as well! You do love blowing raspberries though along with sucking on my feet (weird) and making a clicking noise with your lips (far caught it on video).

There is so much more that I could write but I will leave it there for now...until next month when we'll be in Toronto!!!

 

All my love,

Mummy

 

Where Are You

I'm still here I swear and I've been trying to be a good little commenter apologies if I miss you out or haven't been as regular as I usually am!

I've been busy surprisingly, I thought I would be staying home by myself with my Mum away but I have been getting out and about. Lots with my little sister who just came back from a holiday in NZ and was unemployed for all of a week before getting a way better job than the one she had before. Today we went office clothes shopping for her complete with a Logan mirror make out session in Myer - my son most likely has cooties!

My last post was about Logan's first birthday party, I've since changed it to a Yogi Bear Picnic theme because everyone calls him Logi Bear and I call him BooBoo so it was a given. Plus now I don't have to deal with the majority of guests not wanting to drink milk! The idea was cute but not really well thought out - damn you Pinterest. I don't want it to be cartoon character orientated though so other than maybe a vintage Yogi bear golden book turned into a guest book the party will be more picnic focused.

So that's my life, along with a brief stint of babysitting another bubba - Logan is definitely a difficult baby because the boy I watched was an angel! It's all been good, lots of Hubby bonding including removing technology from Saturday nights as well as Tuesdays and planning for Halloween in Toronto!!!

 

C is for Cookie

I still have a little bit of time before my baby turns 1 but that doesn't mean the planning side of my brain hasn't already kicked into overdrive. I've been scouring Pinterest for themes and ideas and I think I have finally settled on one! Milk & Cookies - easy, cute and fun. I was going to do a "Make a Wish" theme but I think that would've been a bit too vague and girly. And don't let the above photo fool you it will not be a Cookie Monster themed party!

I'm still going to ask people to write a 'wish' down for Logan and then he can read through them when he turns 18. Or I can seeing as he probably won't care about that sort of thing when he's an 18 year old boy!

I've found some cute milk bottles and striped/spotted paper straws. I can see myself easily spending a small fortune but I think that will probably be it for the expensive decorations and the rest I will make or buy on the cheap. I'm also thinking I'll make him a cookie cake but I'll probably change my mind because that won't look very interesting when I want him to smash up his cake - see what I mean with the planning thing! My mother in law did the cake smash with Hubby and it is definitely a tradition I want to keep going. I think/hope Logan will be into it after all he was begging for one of his friend's lunch at Mum's Group and got spoilt with quite a few spoonfuls - he even went so far as to call her MaMa - my little guy knows how to worm his way into your heart.

So if anyone has any yummy cookie recipes please send them my way!

 

 

Currently

Loving: too many things to mention in detail so here's the cliff notes version - Logan taking naps; being more productive; my ability to bake last minute; the weather; Weet-Bix; sewing a button on a cardigan; my Mum's Group; babies with no pants on...

Reading: Save Our Sleep. I started Logan on a dreamfeed at my cousin's suggestion but it didn't work out he was waking up twice after it and both times I had to feed him. So I went back to reading SOS after hating it for many months and decided to try the 9 month routine which doesn't include the dreamfeed any more. I never understood how I could get him on a schedule but he seems to be doing well with it and by keeping him up a bit longer he seems to be having longer naps. Now he only wakes up once during the night which is GREAT!!!

Watching: Supernatural and Grey's Anatomy I used to watch them all the time and have only just started to get back into both of them. It's nice to have relax time with hubby whilst watching Supernatural and to have some downtime during the day watching Grey's.

Thinking about: Halloween costumes and birthday parties. I think I will be going with a milk & cookies theme but am still trying to decide between that and a make a wish party. I think I might just incorporate the latter because I want people to write a birthday wish for Logan. Halloween costumes are a bit trickier I like the idea of making a ghost onesie because his Dad showed up in a sheet for my Halloween party when we first started dating but that seems a bit boring for what may be his one and only Halloween experience!

Anticipating: Boxing - it's my new love and this is the last class I have before I have to take Logan for 4 weeks in a row :(

Working on: Trying to be more productive at home I really could get so much more done if I just got off this damn iPad! For example it took me over 9 months to dare start the vacuum while Logan was asleep and it didn't wake him up so NO MORE EXCUSES!

Wishing: Logan would fall back asleep he's only been napping for 30 minutes - not good :(

Proud of: sewing a button back on a cardigan - lame I know but it's the little things right?

idea from Sometimes Sweet

 

9 Month Letter (23.08.12)

Dear Logan,

What hasn't this past month bought us! From discovering how to crawl like a pro to standing up on everything and making your way around the furniture.

Both your far and I have felt very spoilt watching you grow and advance even further during this time. You delight us with your cheeky grins, your shyness (burying your head into my shoulder), raspberries and big laughs. You have definitely picked up the mimicking thing as well and you've also somewhat learnt to give a kiss on command (but only when you feel like it) and to stay Mum/mama but not in context so I'm not counting it. You can't say far yet but you do make your mouth move like the word when we say it to you. I feel bad for daddy because it's just a bit hard for you to get the word out.

On your last night before turning 9 months you decided to sleep through (with a formula dream feed at 10). I don't think it will be ongoing but is more dependent on your naps during the day and when you go to bed. Speaking of naps you are getting better and have at least one 1.5hr nap per day but the rest is a bit hit or miss. The other 'new' thing is the dream feed and the fact that it's formula. This was a tough decision for me to make because we've never had any problems with you not getting enough milk from me and I felt like I was cheating you. But it's better for me to be happier and well rested than grumpy!

Other things you have learnt to do include drinking from a straw (which I like to believe is advanced but I have no idea) and pulling yourself into a standing position. These things are so exciting and whilst small help you become the little boy we are enjoying meeting.

We are thoroughly enjoying this time with you our little Boo Boo and whilst I look forward to the upcoming months I am now content to live in the moment with you. You have changed so much and become so much happier that we can all really enjoy our time together as a little family. Surprisingly this has made me want to wait before making you an older brother because we want to enjoy you all the more.

 

All my love,

Mummy

 

Blustery Day

 

I'm getting behind again...I keep reading other posts though with people now switching back to 'blogging for themselves' rather than chasing money and numbers so, I figure it's no biggie with my sporadic posting because I'm doing it for me. I've realise I do it because I like writing and because of the wonderful people I've 'met' along the way. So I won't ever disappear for forever but I don't think I could ever be a once a day poster (I'd love to be able to though).

Last week was horrible I missed everything with the cold, it got even worse on Wednesday so no boxing or Mum's Group for me. Thankfully I could hang out with my Mum and Step-Dad so I got a little bit of interaction. But this is a new week and I've done my first exercise class of the week and I'm definitely paying for it today my whole body is so stiff. Yesterday we had to do 30 pushups in a row 60 in total but they were spaced between squats and hip lifts = agony! I suck at pushups I've just never been able to get the hang of them, apparently I have an advantage because big boobs means my chest is already closer to the ground (um depressed Yay?!) but it sure didn't feel that way. But I always feel great afterwards so that's a big plus and I'm glad that I've signed up for a boxing class as well. Apparently the other mums didn't think Logan was too bad but I still hate taking him which I'll have to do whilst my Mum is holidaying in Europe.

In other news Logan is crawling up a storm and I've realised vacuuming needs to become more of a priority (damn it!). He's also very into pulling himself up and walking around the furniture. We've had quite a few tumbles and big whinges but I'm trying not to coddle him when it happens unless I can tell he really needs it.

I've also started him on a bottle of formula dream feed which Hubby gives him. I've tried the dream feed before but it never seemed to work and my cousin said I have to just keep going with it for at least a week but I think I'll aim for longer. Whilst I don't think the formula is helping him sleep longer it's nice that Hubby can take over a feed. My cousin told me her Husband gives their daughter a bottle (but of expressed milk - I'm over expressing so that won't be happening) so that she lessens the 'comfort' attraction of the feed and I am all for that. Last night was a bit of a miss though because he woke up a bit after 3am and then again at 520 - I knew that would happen he won't stay down long after his first wake up so it's always better if he wakes around 4 so that his next wake up is at/after 6 and we can do breakfast etc... But I'm crossing fingers and toes that this works. I think yesterday his day sleeps were very hit and miss too so that wouldn't have helped.

On Thursday he will be 9 months (which means adorable Abi will be 1 year old - how time has flown by Sammie!!!) and I can't believe how much he is constantly changing at this stage. I'm getting newborn withdrawals but definitely waiting until he's 2 before we consider trying for another one!

Anyway the Wolverine has awoken from his morning slumber so I must be off. I hope everyone enjoys the wintery weather (if they have it) and if it's sunny in your neck of the woods enjoy that too!

 

August

I can't believe it's already August, time feels like it's flying by but also crawling at a snail's pace. I haven't posted anything since July whoops! It's not that I haven't felt motivated or wanted to I just find myself having lots of other things to contend with and I'd rather sit back and read blogs during my relax time (or becoming crazily addicted to pinning!) than switch my brain on and come up with a blog post.

Apologies if I haven't been commenting enough as well, I have two different logins for my google account and half the time I'm logged into the wrong one. Trying to balance private and blog life gets a bit blurry sometimes.

At the moment I've been hit by the cold bug again and I'm going a bit stir crazy being stuck inside (other than taking the dog for a walk). I don't like sharing bugs so I'll always quarantine myself for a bit which sucks. It meant I missed out on a morning tea date and exercise yesterday and because I've been non-stop eating I feel like such a slob :( but tomorrow is Mum's Group and boxing and I think I should be over contagious phase. I can't miss boxing, last week was great but horrendous because I had to take Logan and he just cried the entire time :( none of the other babies are like that, sure they whinge but not non-stop and usually there's a reason eg hungry, nappy... I'm getting a bit jealous now of people with angelic babies but my cards have been dealt and I love my little guy to pieces so we just do what we can.

I'm pinning my hopes on the next one being good because we deserve that right so we'll probably wind up with a colicky bubba whose even worse than their older brother. I found myself considering just having Logan but I can't do the only child thing so fingers and toes are crossed. Hubby said he hoped we had twins next so no more kids and I may have fake slapped him and proceeded to shed light on what that would actually mean! But at least he was thinking of 3 kids which shockingly is still my magic number. But we're going to wait awhile and enjoy Logan and everything that he's going to be doing and discovering - the benefits of being the youngest Mum in my Mum's Group I guess.

So there was my disjointed rambled post, I will hopefully be back with more regular posting but you know what I'm like!

 

Currently

Logan enjoying floor time.

 

Loving: the rain, I didn't think I would because it stops outside goings-on but I've come to realise I'm so much happier when it rains. I think it reminds me to stop and smell the roses.

Reading: a whole lot of blogs (along with my usual favourites - check them out in the sidebar) one of my new favourites is Inked in Colour (yep there's a 'u' because she's an Aussie!), I highly recommend you check it out. I should be reading The Great Gatsby for book club but I can't get my butt into gear and it doesn't help knowing I'm missing that book club because it involves a road trip and I can't leave Logan because I'm the food source!

Watching: Seinfeld, I tried to watch the Olympics but instead I got Days of Our Lives when I switched on the telly *insert giant shudder here*. I am a very very very late Seinfeld convert but love this show about nothing, the episode involved Kramer wanting to put up photos of everyone who lived in the building along with their names so they could all greet each other. It backfired on Jerry of course but I thought the sentiment was great, it's sad that we don't live in a culture where knowing your neighbours is very uncommon.

Thinking about: the kindness of friends. My girlfriends who don't have kids have offered to be last minute babysitters should I ever need them. One of my other friends is letting us stay with her and her partner for our holiday (they don't have kids either!) and the mums in my Mum's group are constantly offering to help with Logan.

Anticipating: the goings on for the week. I seem to be super busy all the time now, less so during the day but definitely at night. From family dinners to catching up with friends, usually I hate being a social butterfly but I realised last week getting out of the house and having other people dote on/watch Logan is important for my sanity.

Listening to: the baby monitor going silent again after I managed to get Logan back on track for his nap (this is a huge WIN)

Working on: being happier. I've always been a bit of a downer and that's been 100x worse since having a baby. I'm trying to relax more, take deep breaths and not nag my husband to death. If anyone had any suggestions feel free to throw them my way.

Wishing: today wasn't Monday - I just realised it isn't so wish granted hurrah!

Proud of: doing my first big grocery shop with Logan. It helped that the shop was half empty and it seemed to be the time all Mums did their shopping but it was crap in terms of meat prices being down :( what day is the Aussie day for cheaper meat? I am going to have to start going to the butcher more!!! But yes I am so proud of myself. This was no small feat and is the first time anyone has taken Logan solo food shopping (other than a quick dash and grab) he is notorious for being a huge grizzle guts. I armed myself with rice rusks and toys, my list on the Woolies app and the padded shopping cart insert and it wasn't a terrible experience!

This idea was taken from Sometimes Sweet.

 

The Great Debate

I don't know if I've mentioned this before but I'm talking about breastfeeding vs formula. I don't even like writing that because I am of the mindset that whatever works for your baby GO WITH IT! But I got to thinking today after a gym class with some of the Mums from my Mother's Group. We had been talking about our night on the town and I wasn't sure if I would go because Logan is still having a feed (boob) during the night if not two. Now I know it can be argued that he doesn't need that but that's a whole other kettle of fish and I don't want to get off track.

 

So out of about 14 mums only 4 of us are still sans formula and all boob and I believe a couple are combining the two (formula and boob). The rest stopped for various reasons supply issues seems to be the common one. None of us are judgmental it's always been whatever you believe is best goes but I felt terrible saying I wouldn't mind giving him a bottle of formula that night but my gut says I shouldn't if it's only so I can enjoy myself for such a short period of time. But what annoyed me was that I felt guilty saying this to a formula Mum - I never really know how to voice my desire just to keep Logan on the boob without offending people who use formula. I don't intend to come across as breast is best and you are terrible for using formula but sometimes I think I do unintentionally and I hate it. I came home and realised I shouldn't feel guilty, as long as I say what I want to do for my son and don't judge others then there is nothing wrong. If it offends anyone then of course I would apologise but I find it hard to figure out if I have offended them or not!

This is just a post to say to any Mums (new or old) you rock and are doing a damn fine job with your babies no matter what/how you choose to feed them! Don't feel guilty about saying what you want to do/don't want to do. Motherhood is full of murky waters and it's that much easier to navigate if you have open and honest discussions.

 

8 Month Letter (23.07.12)

Excuse the dodgy iPhone photo!

Dear Logan,

Today you're 8 months old - it's hard to believe you're now closer to 1 and therefore moving out of the baby realm.

You have been babbling and laughing lots this past month and entertaining everyone. Mum is definitely in there but I don't think you actually realise what it means because you aren't using it in context.

You have sunk into that whole separation anxiety thing which we were all hoping we'd avoided! At the moment you can really only spend time with me, far or Grandma and Grandpa - I've realised that you do need to be left with others instead of just being around me all the time. Especially because you burst into tears when you were with farmor after not seeing her for a month.

You still haven't crawled but are starting to push/pull yourself along the floor. Your preference of course is to make others do the work for you but when you're in a good mood you don't mind having to work your way over to whatever has caught your eye. You are also sitting unaided but still toppling over too often to count this one as set in stone just yet!

We've stopped taking you to gymbaroo and I bet you're insanely happy about that because it never really clicked for you. Hopefully we will start up a group with our fellow traitors soon without all the regiment/judgement!

You are still going to swimming and love it. One of the Mum's even commented that it looked like you were doing butterfly. Even if you are in a terrible mood whenever you see the pool your eyes light up and your arms and legs start moving like crazy. It is the cutest thing and one of the many reasons we are loving having you around.

Still no teeth but that isn't stopping you in regards to eating anything and everything. The only things I'm holding off on are sweets, juice and nuts but everything else is fair game and it's great to know you have such a healthy appetite.

Sleep is still hit and miss as well and more often than not you are awake at least twice during the night. But we're getting used to it and when you're ready I know you'll become a champion sleeper. At least your day naps are going ok, sometimes you do a two hour but more often anywhere from 30mins-1hr.

Your hair is also starting to come in and you look like you have a little cockatoo crest which is adorable. It always looks a different colour but you are definitely not as blonde as your far or as dark as me so I think you'll be a light blonde bubba but who knows. Those eyes are also starting to look green at certain angles as well but still no huge change there.

You are becoming more and more fun and we savour every minute and look forward to what amazing things you'll do next.

 

All my love,

Mummy

 

 

Posted with Blogsy

Working it

I most definitely am not 'working it'. Currently I'm trying to stay warm with my daggy ugg boots and man's jumper, after seeing our electricity bill so long blasting the aircon on heat! Living out of home is expensive and because we've been all over the place for ages this is really the first time (as a family) we're sitting down and trying to wrangle the finances.

But I'm getting off topic...firstly I would like to thank the wonderful comments left on my last post, I couldn't ask for better support and I am so lucky to have you ladies in my world! Secondly, it seems to be a hot topic at the moment - blogging and either giving it up or lacking inspiration. I'm the opposite however, I really want to delve deeper into the opportunities available to me but I truly lack the creativity (which I used to possess in droves) and camera skills/time to upload and edit photos. My little sister has an amazing beauty blog which just keeps growing and I would link to it but then she'll uncover this blog and I am definitely not comfortable with people I know reading this. Which brings me to the third thing, I want to create a place I'm not nervous about my family and friends reading, a positive place where I'm not bitching about people and being negative. I had a dream recently about someone telling me to stop being so negative and that I was one of the most negative people they knew. It hadn't happened of course but felt so real that I knew it was time I did something about it.

So I think some time soon it might be time for me to dust off the laptop (iPads are not blogging friendly) and really put some effort into this new endeavor. When I do I'll be sure to post a link but for now I'll still be posting here until I build some decent foundations!

That Feeling

So I went and saw What to Expect with some of the Mums Group and had a great time, despite the moving starting past my bedtime and not getting home until 1130! Logan had a reasonably good night though so hurrah, I still found it hard to drag my butt out of bed though and far stepped in to get the little monkey out of his cot.


I loved the movie, it wasn't fantastic by any means but I laughed throughout it and had a few tears in my eyes too. Two things really got to me though, the women in labour - even when they tried to make it slightly unattractive aka Cameron Diaz they still failed and everyone loving their baby from that very first instant. I think the latter is because I'm jealous of that. Sitting in the cinema I even contemplated getting an elective c-section with my next one because I wanted to have that bonding moment and not go through the horrible labour that I did with Logan. Not that I couldn't handle the labour but at the end when he was on my chest I felt no connection other than bloody hell what took you so long! It probably didn't help that I delayed cord clamping and had no idea how long that would take or that my placenta was massive too and having Logan whisked off without a name was hard as well. But yeah I wish I'd gotten my love at first sight moment and I hope like crazy I get that with the next one!

Don't worry I realise having a c-section could also result in me not having 'the moment' just as easily and I still plan on going natural with the next one! Not that there is anything wrong with choosing a different way to have your baby, as long as they get into this world healthy and happy that's all that matters.

Also where on earth do you get one of those bar things that Diaz had during her 'labour' I want one!!!

Month 7 Letter (23.06.12)

Dear Logan,

Month 7 really snuck up on us and I feel like this is the first time a month has really flown by! It has been so much fun watching you grow and learn. But unfortunately sleep has been eluding all of us.

One highlight was that you started to have longer day naps but that only lasted for a few days and coincided with you waking lots during the night. It feels like we've gone back to newborn sleep patterns and maybe that's why this past month flew by, we've all been stuck in a lack of sleep induced haze!

Other than our sleep issues, you have been changing your eating habits. You eat so much now, huge bowls and you have 3 proper meals often with snacks in between (you can eat an entire Weetbix and then some for breakfast!!!).

You still don't have a routine but you usually go to bed around 630pm and then wake anywhere from 2-6 times a night (usually dependent on if we are at home or out at a family dinner). You wake up around 5/530 and I feed you and far puts you back to sleep but then you don't sleep for longer than an hour/hour and a half so no sleep-ins for us. It is nice because you get to say bye to far before work but it would be great if we could get rid of that 5ish wake up (& even better if you decided to sleep through). We've also instigated a bedtime routine consisting off boob, bit of a play, dinner, bath, say goodnight and then go to bed (with the occasion book read by far - translated to Danish which is always good).

You aren't crawling and rolling has stopped, you will roll onto your back but that's it and then from there if you're really grumpy you can wiggle yourself around the place. You do get on all fours and rock back and forth which is really cute!

We also finally moved into your home, the house where you will create all of those amazing memoried so it has been a pretty full on month. We keep being amazed by you as you turn into this awesome little dude.

Love always,

Mummy

PS: no teeth yet and despite the judgmental voices of all your grandparents I think the necklace is rad ;)

The Ultimate Dream

People tell you all the time while you're pregnant that sleep is going to go out the window once you're a parent and I just nodded and smiled...how ignorant I was! But you never really know the truth until you experience it for yourself and I have definitely been reliving the newborn experience at the moment.

Logan used to be a pretty good sleeper but now that 6 months has hit that's gone out the window. We thought finally moving into our new place and getting settled would result in sleeping through but that was just some more wishful thinking! Now he's up at least 6 times at night for the past three nights and before that anywhere from 2+. This Mama is exhausted and with a house to unpack and clean up I'm finding it hard to be relaxed enough to nap when he does. At least that's a positive in that he is now having longer naps but I just wish I could ignore the boxes and mess and sleep! Which is what I should be doing now but we need to go to Gymbaroo soon (thankfully I'm not bothering with it once this term is up!).

It could be teething, it could be developmental milestones, it could be a growth spurt or any number of things but I hope he starts to sleep for bigger chunks soon because I'm on the verge of having a melt down. Thankfully my Mum is now literally around the corner and my Mother's Group has been fantastic even offering to take him while I get some sleep. But it's amazing how much sleep really does affect you and I can't wait to get back to my happier self instead of this crazy monster who snaps at everything!

 

Escape

So we've moved and guess what, our first morning in and they start work on the vacant block behind :( Pity Logan isn't of the age to appreciate the big yellow trucks but he's young enough to get freaked out by the whole house shaking!

Yesterday I bid farewell to one of my best friends who is off overseas for two years. I'm so excited for her and not sad in the slightest (we'll be visiting them for Halloween). Except tonight I would have given anything to be able to call her up and have a cry but because she's on a plane I'll just have to vent here!

Finally being out on our own doesn't feel like it should and I guess it's because we've moved into my Mum and Step-Dad's house and I now realise it's never going to be our home. Mum is constantly over and keeps saying how we should be unpacked by this weekend. Sure she helps but I still have no idea which cupboards I want to put things and that compounded with uncovering stuff from storage we forgot we had and dealing with Logan (who refuses to entertain himself for longer than 10mins or sleep for longer than 30mons). Thankfully we met one of the neighbors today after getting my new table and chairs delivered (hurrah). He's a stay at home Dad with two little girls and said it took them months, sadly Mum just blew this off...but getting back to the story.

It has been great staying with Mum or my in-laws and getting some extra help but I now realise that it wasn't a good idea. We've both become so dependent on the help so much so that Mum asks if I will be ok being left for 5 minutes with my own son whilst she leaves the room. I don't mean this as in I'm a bad mother I just want to paint the picture.

Mum has gotten way too entangled in my life. Tonight I invited her over because Hubby was out and I knew I'd be lonely. It was going great until she started on my Hubby. It was things I knew about him (you have to ask him to do a lot of stuff he just doesn't see it but when asked he does it) but I could tell she just wanted to have a bitch session about it. She wouldn't stop even after I said that it couldn't be changed (his mum is exactly the same andante I've tried everything it's jut part of his personality) I'd learnt to deal with it. She made it seem like he was hurting me and therefore it was up to her to protect me - by bitching about him to me, not sure how that works and then she went on about how she was concerned for Logan to.

My Husband is forgetful and sometimes doesn't carry through with tasks the way I do but he's amazing in other aspects (always gets up to Logan during the night, does food shopping at the last minute, just to name a few) and I just couldn't believe she would bring all this up. Then when she knew it was hurting me she just kept going and going and going and when I (of course) got upset with her she got angry...

I can't talk to my Hubby about this obviously because then he'll be weird with my Mum and it's pretty obvious she's spoken about this with other people...so, apologies for the vent but does anyone have any suggestions?

I'm tempted to just take a break but she would kill me or turn herself into the 'victim' if I said I wanted a break from her coming over... I realise now that whilst living in your parents house is great it does come with significant issues and even though we've just moved in I'm already itching to move out (which sucks after all this moving back and forth with a baby).

On the Move

Is this a recurring theme for me or what!? But this will be the last move for awhile until we buy our own house that is. It's sad to be leaving our first family home where I got ready for my wedding (back when Mum lived here) and then preparing for Logan and finally bringing him back here. It's bittersweet because we are moving into a lovely more practical home but this house is amazing and I don't think I'll ever find such a nice view in suburbia ever again.

It will be great to not be living out of suitcases and plastic tubs anymore, we've been moving between parents' houses since end of February! I can't wait to live within walking distance to my Mum she has been the hugest help to all of us since Logan was born and it'll also mean a more set in stone exercise program! We'll also have grass (yippee) and be 2 minutes away from a park so I can easily walk the dog now and won't need to use my car so much.

I can't wait to post a photo showing our new house once it's all set up. I've never really done a home tour but definitely will with this place. So in the interim forgive me if I go a bit AWOL I'm hoping to get back to more regular posting when I'm all settled in.