Working it

I most definitely am not 'working it'. Currently I'm trying to stay warm with my daggy ugg boots and man's jumper, after seeing our electricity bill so long blasting the aircon on heat! Living out of home is expensive and because we've been all over the place for ages this is really the first time (as a family) we're sitting down and trying to wrangle the finances.

But I'm getting off topic...firstly I would like to thank the wonderful comments left on my last post, I couldn't ask for better support and I am so lucky to have you ladies in my world! Secondly, it seems to be a hot topic at the moment - blogging and either giving it up or lacking inspiration. I'm the opposite however, I really want to delve deeper into the opportunities available to me but I truly lack the creativity (which I used to possess in droves) and camera skills/time to upload and edit photos. My little sister has an amazing beauty blog which just keeps growing and I would link to it but then she'll uncover this blog and I am definitely not comfortable with people I know reading this. Which brings me to the third thing, I want to create a place I'm not nervous about my family and friends reading, a positive place where I'm not bitching about people and being negative. I had a dream recently about someone telling me to stop being so negative and that I was one of the most negative people they knew. It hadn't happened of course but felt so real that I knew it was time I did something about it.

So I think some time soon it might be time for me to dust off the laptop (iPads are not blogging friendly) and really put some effort into this new endeavor. When I do I'll be sure to post a link but for now I'll still be posting here until I build some decent foundations!

That Feeling

So I went and saw What to Expect with some of the Mums Group and had a great time, despite the moving starting past my bedtime and not getting home until 1130! Logan had a reasonably good night though so hurrah, I still found it hard to drag my butt out of bed though and far stepped in to get the little monkey out of his cot.


I loved the movie, it wasn't fantastic by any means but I laughed throughout it and had a few tears in my eyes too. Two things really got to me though, the women in labour - even when they tried to make it slightly unattractive aka Cameron Diaz they still failed and everyone loving their baby from that very first instant. I think the latter is because I'm jealous of that. Sitting in the cinema I even contemplated getting an elective c-section with my next one because I wanted to have that bonding moment and not go through the horrible labour that I did with Logan. Not that I couldn't handle the labour but at the end when he was on my chest I felt no connection other than bloody hell what took you so long! It probably didn't help that I delayed cord clamping and had no idea how long that would take or that my placenta was massive too and having Logan whisked off without a name was hard as well. But yeah I wish I'd gotten my love at first sight moment and I hope like crazy I get that with the next one!

Don't worry I realise having a c-section could also result in me not having 'the moment' just as easily and I still plan on going natural with the next one! Not that there is anything wrong with choosing a different way to have your baby, as long as they get into this world healthy and happy that's all that matters.

Also where on earth do you get one of those bar things that Diaz had during her 'labour' I want one!!!

Month 7 Letter (23.06.12)

Dear Logan,

Month 7 really snuck up on us and I feel like this is the first time a month has really flown by! It has been so much fun watching you grow and learn. But unfortunately sleep has been eluding all of us.

One highlight was that you started to have longer day naps but that only lasted for a few days and coincided with you waking lots during the night. It feels like we've gone back to newborn sleep patterns and maybe that's why this past month flew by, we've all been stuck in a lack of sleep induced haze!

Other than our sleep issues, you have been changing your eating habits. You eat so much now, huge bowls and you have 3 proper meals often with snacks in between (you can eat an entire Weetbix and then some for breakfast!!!).

You still don't have a routine but you usually go to bed around 630pm and then wake anywhere from 2-6 times a night (usually dependent on if we are at home or out at a family dinner). You wake up around 5/530 and I feed you and far puts you back to sleep but then you don't sleep for longer than an hour/hour and a half so no sleep-ins for us. It is nice because you get to say bye to far before work but it would be great if we could get rid of that 5ish wake up (& even better if you decided to sleep through). We've also instigated a bedtime routine consisting off boob, bit of a play, dinner, bath, say goodnight and then go to bed (with the occasion book read by far - translated to Danish which is always good).

You aren't crawling and rolling has stopped, you will roll onto your back but that's it and then from there if you're really grumpy you can wiggle yourself around the place. You do get on all fours and rock back and forth which is really cute!

We also finally moved into your home, the house where you will create all of those amazing memoried so it has been a pretty full on month. We keep being amazed by you as you turn into this awesome little dude.

Love always,

Mummy

PS: no teeth yet and despite the judgmental voices of all your grandparents I think the necklace is rad ;)

The Ultimate Dream

People tell you all the time while you're pregnant that sleep is going to go out the window once you're a parent and I just nodded and smiled...how ignorant I was! But you never really know the truth until you experience it for yourself and I have definitely been reliving the newborn experience at the moment.

Logan used to be a pretty good sleeper but now that 6 months has hit that's gone out the window. We thought finally moving into our new place and getting settled would result in sleeping through but that was just some more wishful thinking! Now he's up at least 6 times at night for the past three nights and before that anywhere from 2+. This Mama is exhausted and with a house to unpack and clean up I'm finding it hard to be relaxed enough to nap when he does. At least that's a positive in that he is now having longer naps but I just wish I could ignore the boxes and mess and sleep! Which is what I should be doing now but we need to go to Gymbaroo soon (thankfully I'm not bothering with it once this term is up!).

It could be teething, it could be developmental milestones, it could be a growth spurt or any number of things but I hope he starts to sleep for bigger chunks soon because I'm on the verge of having a melt down. Thankfully my Mum is now literally around the corner and my Mother's Group has been fantastic even offering to take him while I get some sleep. But it's amazing how much sleep really does affect you and I can't wait to get back to my happier self instead of this crazy monster who snaps at everything!

 

Escape

So we've moved and guess what, our first morning in and they start work on the vacant block behind :( Pity Logan isn't of the age to appreciate the big yellow trucks but he's young enough to get freaked out by the whole house shaking!

Yesterday I bid farewell to one of my best friends who is off overseas for two years. I'm so excited for her and not sad in the slightest (we'll be visiting them for Halloween). Except tonight I would have given anything to be able to call her up and have a cry but because she's on a plane I'll just have to vent here!

Finally being out on our own doesn't feel like it should and I guess it's because we've moved into my Mum and Step-Dad's house and I now realise it's never going to be our home. Mum is constantly over and keeps saying how we should be unpacked by this weekend. Sure she helps but I still have no idea which cupboards I want to put things and that compounded with uncovering stuff from storage we forgot we had and dealing with Logan (who refuses to entertain himself for longer than 10mins or sleep for longer than 30mons). Thankfully we met one of the neighbors today after getting my new table and chairs delivered (hurrah). He's a stay at home Dad with two little girls and said it took them months, sadly Mum just blew this off...but getting back to the story.

It has been great staying with Mum or my in-laws and getting some extra help but I now realise that it wasn't a good idea. We've both become so dependent on the help so much so that Mum asks if I will be ok being left for 5 minutes with my own son whilst she leaves the room. I don't mean this as in I'm a bad mother I just want to paint the picture.

Mum has gotten way too entangled in my life. Tonight I invited her over because Hubby was out and I knew I'd be lonely. It was going great until she started on my Hubby. It was things I knew about him (you have to ask him to do a lot of stuff he just doesn't see it but when asked he does it) but I could tell she just wanted to have a bitch session about it. She wouldn't stop even after I said that it couldn't be changed (his mum is exactly the same andante I've tried everything it's jut part of his personality) I'd learnt to deal with it. She made it seem like he was hurting me and therefore it was up to her to protect me - by bitching about him to me, not sure how that works and then she went on about how she was concerned for Logan to.

My Husband is forgetful and sometimes doesn't carry through with tasks the way I do but he's amazing in other aspects (always gets up to Logan during the night, does food shopping at the last minute, just to name a few) and I just couldn't believe she would bring all this up. Then when she knew it was hurting me she just kept going and going and going and when I (of course) got upset with her she got angry...

I can't talk to my Hubby about this obviously because then he'll be weird with my Mum and it's pretty obvious she's spoken about this with other people...so, apologies for the vent but does anyone have any suggestions?

I'm tempted to just take a break but she would kill me or turn herself into the 'victim' if I said I wanted a break from her coming over... I realise now that whilst living in your parents house is great it does come with significant issues and even though we've just moved in I'm already itching to move out (which sucks after all this moving back and forth with a baby).

On the Move

Is this a recurring theme for me or what!? But this will be the last move for awhile until we buy our own house that is. It's sad to be leaving our first family home where I got ready for my wedding (back when Mum lived here) and then preparing for Logan and finally bringing him back here. It's bittersweet because we are moving into a lovely more practical home but this house is amazing and I don't think I'll ever find such a nice view in suburbia ever again.

It will be great to not be living out of suitcases and plastic tubs anymore, we've been moving between parents' houses since end of February! I can't wait to live within walking distance to my Mum she has been the hugest help to all of us since Logan was born and it'll also mean a more set in stone exercise program! We'll also have grass (yippee) and be 2 minutes away from a park so I can easily walk the dog now and won't need to use my car so much.

I can't wait to post a photo showing our new house once it's all set up. I've never really done a home tour but definitely will with this place. So in the interim forgive me if I go a bit AWOL I'm hoping to get back to more regular posting when I'm all settled in.