Wednesday, June 27, 2012

That Feeling

So I went and saw What to Expect with some of the Mums Group and had a great time, despite the moving starting past my bedtime and not getting home until 1130! Logan had a reasonably good night though so hurrah, I still found it hard to drag my butt out of bed though and far stepped in to get the little monkey out of his cot.

I loved the movie, it wasn't fantastic by any means but I laughed throughout it and had a few tears in my eyes too. Two things really got to me though, the women in labour - even when they tried to make it slightly unattractive aka Cameron Diaz they still failed and everyone loving their baby from that very first instant. I think the latter is because I'm jealous of that. Sitting in the cinema I even contemplated getting an elective c-section with my next one because I wanted to have that bonding moment and not go through the horrible labour that I did with Logan. Not that I couldn't handle the labour but at the end when he was on my chest I felt no connection other than bloody hell what took you so long! It probably didn't help that I delayed cord clamping and had no idea how long that would take or that my placenta was massive too and having Logan whisked off without a name was hard as well. But yeah I wish I'd gotten my love at first sight moment and I hope like crazy I get that with the next one!

Don't worry I realise having a c-section could also result in me not having 'the moment' just as easily and I still plan on going natural with the next one! Not that there is anything wrong with choosing a different way to have your baby, as long as they get into this world healthy and happy that's all that matters.

Also where on earth do you get one of those bar things that Diaz had during her 'labour' I want one!!!


  1. Lots of women don't have that feeling I know it's hard to feel okay with that but your body would have been going through some level of shock with such a hard labour and that would have made it very hard to feel anything but numb once it was over. What's important is how much you love Logan now. Also that blush of love in movies is just as inaccurate as their portrayal of labour and probably just as damaging to women, it makes me cross that pop culture tricks us into thinking there's something wrong with us if our experience isn't the same.

  2. I didn't have that instantaneous feeling of love with my girl. I had a hard labour and an emergency cesarean birth (although a fairly calm one). I remember reminding myself not to feel disappointed if I didn't feel it and I didn't. I did feel some sort of recognition like she looked like a member of my family but that was about it. In the weeks and months that passed, I waited for the bolt of love. I guess I was really busy with taking care of her and the endless and huge task of breastfeeding my girl so although I knew I was bonding with her, I didn't really feel that incredible feeling of love. I endlessly thought about her sleep patterns, feeding habits etc. Bit by bit, as we got to know each other and were more able to communicate with each other, I fell in love with my daughter. At 16 months, her smiles make me glow and I love her giggles. Don't worry if it takes a long time. It doesn't mean you don't love them just that it takes time to get to know your children. The media would like us to believe that we fall in love instantly, if not at birth then at least within days. That didn't happen for me but I am a great parent who was bonded with my child well and then fell deeply truly in love with my girl as she grew (and I must say, I've been loving the 14 month onwards age - words and communication makes for great connections!) xx