I still don't get it, I know no one ever does (truly) but obviously some people have a better handle on it than others. I thought I would fall into that category but instead here I sit scratching my head and throwing a lot of 'woe is me's' out into the world. I want to blame my child for not being an easy baby for crying more than laughing for frowning more than smiling but you can't blame someone for their personality. Then I get scared that subliminally I'm turning him into this unhappy little man because I feel so overwhelmed and that just about makes my head explode.
But still the weeks turn into months and I haven't wound up breaking down or following through on my threat to send him to China. When it's just him and me it is definitely a lot harder and I am looking forward to my Mum coming back on Monday! But I'm proud of myself for managing for a month without her dropping in every day - I've done some grocery shops, gone out to cafes with him and gone on a daily walk (weather permitting) every day.
I will never be one of those 'perfect' bloggers, I never have something set for a certain day and I definitely don't want people thinking that Logan is the easiest baby in the world or that I can handle anything he throws at me. He isn't and I can't! This was just a quick post (seeing as the little monkey has just woken up early) to let mums/moms around the world know that it's ok. You do survive but you also need to bitch and moan about it, don't keep it bottled up and for the love of your sanity don't compare your baby to anyone else's - that has been what destroyed me these last couple of weeks. Logan has been particularly tough and whenever I shared that the other mums just said teething or separation anxiety and yes my son/daughter cried too. I wanted to scream and say you don't understand he has always cried non stop its just really getting to me now. But everyone has their own shit to deal with so keep plodding along and dealing with yours because ultimately these little boys & girls are ours and ours alone and we can only do what we can do.
PS: That wasn't suppose to depress the hell out of you, I'm sure it gets better and I know from looking at my 4 year old nephew it's going to be awesome fun! But for the right now...well he's lucky I can't afford postage (that and he's so dang cute!).
Hugs, I promise Eve is exactly the same, I can't even leave the room most of the time without her having a screaming fit. She's also not going through a phase it's her personality. I promise you are not making him unhappy, this world is big and overwhelming and some kids are more sensitive to that than others. Hang in there, I'm always here if you need to talk or just some sympathy.
ReplyDeleteBig hugs. You are right though it isn't easy.
ReplyDeleteI think I've been pretty blessed with "a good one" if there's such a thing? But you know what? So have you!
Logan may be a cry'er and a bit of an unhappy boy, but he was given to you that way for a reason!
There's been many a time I could have thrown Abi out the window or sent her to China! Gosh! I know that feeling.
Have you considered seeing someone for Logan? There could be underlying issues that have never been picked up?
Maybe look into natural calming remedies also?
He's going to grow up and be the happiest man alive!!!
Gawd, that must be absolutely the shits Jess. God knows how you had the energy to think of putting together that gift for Lila. Goes to show what a beautiful soul you are! I will never forget the first night I had Sienna. The mama next door had her bubba the same time and each time I woke up to feed Sienna, I could hear her baby screaming. Sienna was very quiet and didn't cry. It taught me my first parenting lesson "you get what you are given." NOTHING to do with parenting skills. My mum tells me that I was a pretty full on "naughty" (her words!) baby, so much so that her milk dried up at 4 months (poor love!). Her next baby, my brother, was completely different and my mum swears she didn't do anything much different, didn't have time to. I'm not quite sure where I'm going with this only that I have lots of friends with several babies who have different personalities. Some play quietly in the corner and others are of the klingon variety, cute but drive you slightly nutty. I was having lunch with a group of girlfriends this week and our regular theme of conversation is how much our kids drive us insane. Actually it is the other women who say this. They all have three kids each, I only have one so am slightly behind:) My mum went away for 2 weeks recently and it was the longest two weeks of my LIFE!! Anyway, I know it is slightly freaky but the time has come, we need to do a park play date so I can tell you in person what a good mama you are. xxxoo
ReplyDeleteOh gosh Jess, it sounds like Logan is certainly being a little cheeky monkey! You have really hit it on the head by saying that we shouldn't compare our kids to others. Lily was a really moody baby with the loudest cry and she can still have a temper. This isn't the the nice side to parenting and not really talked about when you are at the pub and see a baby in the corner looking like a cute accessory.
ReplyDeleteSo thank you for posting about this, because sometimes I feel like it's all too much after a hard taxing day. It's draining, it's not all about you anymore and it can really be unpleasant when all you hear is constant screaming and crying.
I agree with Spark we should do a playmate with us Perth mums! It certainly has helped with my sanity to get out and talk to other mothers too.