Friday, September 28, 2012
I still don't get it, I know no one ever does (truly) but obviously some people have a better handle on it than others. I thought I would fall into that category but instead here I sit scratching my head and throwing a lot of 'woe is me's' out into the world. I want to blame my child for not being an easy baby for crying more than laughing for frowning more than smiling but you can't blame someone for their personality. Then I get scared that subliminally I'm turning him into this unhappy little man because I feel so overwhelmed and that just about makes my head explode.
But still the weeks turn into months and I haven't wound up breaking down or following through on my threat to send him to China. When it's just him and me it is definitely a lot harder and I am looking forward to my Mum coming back on Monday! But I'm proud of myself for managing for a month without her dropping in every day - I've done some grocery shops, gone out to cafes with him and gone on a daily walk (weather permitting) every day.
I will never be one of those 'perfect' bloggers, I never have something set for a certain day and I definitely don't want people thinking that Logan is the easiest baby in the world or that I can handle anything he throws at me. He isn't and I can't! This was just a quick post (seeing as the little monkey has just woken up early) to let mums/moms around the world know that it's ok. You do survive but you also need to bitch and moan about it, don't keep it bottled up and for the love of your sanity don't compare your baby to anyone else's - that has been what destroyed me these last couple of weeks. Logan has been particularly tough and whenever I shared that the other mums just said teething or separation anxiety and yes my son/daughter cried too. I wanted to scream and say you don't understand he has always cried non stop its just really getting to me now. But everyone has their own shit to deal with so keep plodding along and dealing with yours because ultimately these little boys & girls are ours and ours alone and we can only do what we can do.
PS: That wasn't suppose to depress the hell out of you, I'm sure it gets better and I know from looking at my 4 year old nephew it's going to be awesome fun! But for the right now...well he's lucky I can't afford postage (that and he's so dang cute!).