So last night was family dinner (sans the siblings) with the in-laws. It was the first time I've seen them both since we announced the pregnancy. It was all sweet to start with, lots of questions about how I was going. But towards the end it just started to get annoying. I'm finally learning that everyone has an opinion and they're not afraid to speak their minds.
I was contemplating a home birth but Hubby isn't keen on that and my Mum immediately knew that the in-laws would be against it (they're a doctor/nurse so go figure). So we decided not a home birth for the first baby and to talk about it for the second. My compromise was to go with a Birthing centre. Last night I advised them that I was going to try going natural to which my MiL's immediate reaction was oh we'll see and then at the end of the night my FiL asked why (on earth) we weren't going private. I've looked into private and it is $$$$ even though we have private insurance.
So this is just my mini rant (no doubt the first of many!). I'm sure I'm not the first to-be-mama to experience this and I won't be the last (nor will this be my last time experiencing it).
That is awful. I don't understand why the people who should be the most careful of your feelings are the least tactful. I hear you on the name sharing, I've had a few people try to pry one out of me since we decided not to go with Priya and there is no way I am telling them.
ReplyDeleteJust remember to stick to your guns with the things that are important to you, you don't get to redo this.
People are always going to give you advice. While you are pregnant you will get lots of advice on what you should and shouldn't be doing. Then, it will only get worse once you have the baby! I'm sorry that your family isn't more open to your opinions and choices. I think it's probably a good idea to not share names if they are going to react like that!
ReplyDeleteEVERYONE has an opinion.
ReplyDeleteCurrently I'm going through the "Your 18 weeks and still not showing! Something must be wrong..."
F off I feel like saying, as if I dont worry on my own enough...
As for names... I'm totally with you. We are going to find out the sex and if people want to know as aks we will tell them, but if not then we wont. And thats even more important that we keep the name/s a secret.
OH this brings back memories! This is your birthing experience - a very personal and life changing moment - so stick with your decision (mother-to-be knows best).
ReplyDeleteI was contemplating homebirth too but my husband was also against it and I figure that my birthing partner needs to have his say too!
Agree with you about the names...was about to write a post on my blog about the drama I went through!
Thanks all of you! It's nice to know I'm not the only one going through this.
ReplyDeleteLila - thanks for reminding me I don't get to redo it! I'm going to live by that from now on.
Bec - it's scaring to think it's just going to keep coming :(
Sammie - definitely tell them to F off how rude! everyone is unique and what gives them the right to say that (if you weren't pregnant it would be rude and that's no different!)
Sass - I can't wait to read that post!
Hey Jess-- I originally went Private, but then changed my mind and went public..I was booked in at the Family Birth Centre at King Edward and was really happy with that decision.. but spent the rest of the pregnancy having to justify and explain my decision to everyone who couldnt believe that we weren't going private and that I was going to attempt a drug free birth. People were acting like I was a fool and there were times when I actually lied and told people I was going to SJOG so I ddint have to deal with their opinions.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad I didnt bow to family pressure. We saved loads of money and I got to have the natural birth I wanted. I was impressed with the quality of care. I will definitely go public again next time.
My advice is stick to your guns! YOU are the one who has to push the baby out, not your inlaws and not even your husband so it is your decision and I hope they are all supportive of wherever you decide you want to do that.
Pls feel free to email me if you have any questions about FBC etc